


Patience

by KinkyPlotBunny



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Stephen is really really patient, all the feels, but everybody has limits, loki being an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29129703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinkyPlotBunny/pseuds/KinkyPlotBunny
Summary: Infinity War and Endgame never happened. Loki is alive and helped build New Asgard, Thor is occasionally called in for Avengers business, and at times, Earth's Mighty Heroes need the trickster's assistance when their Sorcerer Supreme can't handle things alone. And then, very rarely, a situation may arise where Loki needs Stephen (not that he would ever admit that). And sometimes Loki is just bored.Three times Stephen was patient with Loki, and one time he wasn’t.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 5





	1. Annoying but Funny

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AuroraWest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraWest/gifts).



Things disappeared from the Sanctum. Nothing alarming, none of the powerful artefacts and devices stored there. Just - annoying little things.  
The book Stephen had been reading the night before. It was a silly little crime novel, but the big revelation had been imminent, and it drove him crazy that he couldn't finish it.  
The notes he had taken on a spell he wanted to try once he had a little time to himself.  
His favourite belt.  
The mug Wong had given him for his birthday last year, the one that said ‘Sorcerer Supreme’ but had a picture of Harry Potter on the inside.  
When one of his boots disappeared right before his eyes while he was putting on the other one, he had enough.  
“Loki, stop it,” he said good-naturedly.  
The trickster materialised - or maybe he sent an illusion, Stephen still wasn't entirely sure how to tell one from the other - leaning on the wall with one shoulder, arms crossed.  
“How did you know it was me?”  
“I just don't know anyone else… (who can do stuff like that this elegantly) with that capacity to be annoying.”  
Loki grinned.  
“Good. My work here is done.”  
And he was gone, leaving everything he'd stolen from Stephen in his stead.  
“Excuse me? Were you planning on putting these back where they belong?”  
Crickets.  
“Hello? Loki?”  
Stephen heaved a sigh and put his second boot on. Yes, the trickster was extremely annoying when he was bored, and obviously he was very bored at the moment - Stephen made a mental note to check on Thor - but he was also very powerful, and Stephen liked his sense of humour. And goddamn it he'd looked good, leaning against that wall doing nothing. Nothing but smile.


	2. Arrogant and Proud

Stephen opened a portal and stepped through. The sight that greeted him made his heart stop for a moment: New Asgard's streets were swarming with clearly otherdimensional beings. Loki stood, feet braced, arms raised, fighting them back. Here and there some of them disappeared, then another bunch. But more were pouring out of a rip in reality. It looked like the battle had been going on for a while, and there was no way of telling how it would turn out. Thor stood a few feet away from his brother, Mjolnir in one hand, his cell phone in the other. Waving the phone in greeting he nodded at Stephen.

"Thank you for coming!"

Loki briefly broke his focus and spat:

"Unnecessary," and then he went back to defending the town.

Stephen raised his hand, called up his own magic, and together the three of them closed the rip and eliminated the threat.

When it was done, Stephen looked at Loki more closely. The trickster was even paler than usual, and his shoulders slumped a little.

"How long has this been going on?" Stephen asked as he stepped close.

"I was a little too busy to check a clock."

"Almost three hours when I called you," Thor said. " _Someone_ kept telling me he didn't need your help."

"I didn't," Loki said, almost back to his normal level of confidence. "I had everything under control."

Thor and Stephen exchanged a look.

"Anyway, where did they even come from?" Stephen asked.

Thor shrugged.

"Loki told me he felt something, a shift in dimensions or—"

"Reality," Loki corrected him.

"Fine, reality. Whatever. It shifted, then it ripped, and these things started coming through."

Stephen looked at Loki.

"I need you to tell me everything."

"I don't _need_ to do anything, wizard."

Stephen raised his hand and opened a portal, pulling Loki through with him.

"I am Earth's Sorcerer Supreme, and you will tell me what you know," Stephen said, calm, but firm, the moment the portal closed.

"Why are we having this conversation up here on the cliff?"

"Because I am allowing you to keep your face in front of your brother after opposing me. He doesn't need to see me win. Now talk."

Loki looked at him for a moment, his expression unreadable, and then he complied.

\--------------

"So, in short, you should have called me."

Loki rolled his eyes.

"I would have managed on my own. It would have taken a little longer but we would have been fine."

"You were exhausted."

"No I wasn't."

Stephen just looked at his fellow sorcerer.

"It was blatantly obvious that you didn't have much left in you, Loki. Three hours for heaven's sake. Of course you were exhausted."

Loki raised his chin.

"I'm not human, wizard. You better start taking that into consideration."

Stephen sighed.

"Do I have to make you walk back to the town or are you going to ask me nicely to give you a lift?"

Loki glared at him. Stephen just chuckled and opened a portal, inviting Loki to step through with an elegant gesture. He kept it open to see if Loki would turn back for a smile or a nod, but apparently that wasn't going to happen. Loki walked away without any kind of acknowledgement of Stephen's help. Of course he did. Damn the man and his stubborn pride.


	3. Vulnerable

Stephen's phone rang. The caller ID said ‘Thor’, so he answered it with a sigh:

“What did he do this time?”

“I do not feel like joking. Please get here as quickly as you can.”

Stephen's stomach dropped.

“I'm on my way.”

When Stephen stepped out of the portal in Thor’s living room, the God of Thunder was already waiting for him.

“Please come this way,” he said, and led him across the street to his brother’s house.

“Thor, come on, what happened?”

“My brother was being more foolish than usual,” was all he said, and Stephen realised that didn’t bode well.

It did not prepare him for what he found when he followed Thor into Loki’s study and library. Loki was on the floor, half sitting, half lying, holding himself up with one arm, the other raised, but trembling. He was surrounded by books and artefacts, some of which Stephen couldn’t identify, and there was a thrum of magical energy in the air.

“Do you know what he was working on?” Stephen asked Thor without taking his eyes off Loki.

“I do not. He’s not very forthcoming when it comes to his experiments.”

_As if Thor would understand the level of magic I am capable of wielding._

Wait what?

“Loki? Are you—”

_Shut up, wizard, I’m trying to focus!_

 _S_ tephen briefly glanced at Thor, but he didn’t appear to have heard his brother. Huh. Telepathy? Really?

_Actually, I’m glad you came, wizard._

Now that was new.

_Come here. I need to show you something._

Stephen didn’t really appreciate the tone, but he complied nonetheless.

“Where do you want me?”

Thor raised his eyebrows, but Stephen didn’t have time to explain the concept of Mindspeech right now.

 _Close_ , Loki projected, and it sounded strained. And urgent.

Stephen knelt down in front of Loki, within arm’s reach, but didn’t touch him.

And then Loki’s mental voice slammed into him with an urgency he had never experienced before:

_Is he on your list, wizard? You have to put him on the list! Strange! Please! He can’t come here. You mustn’t let him… Please. He must be stopped… By all means! Strange! You have to listen to me…_

Stephen reached out and grabbed Loki’s biceps.

“Loki. I can’t follow. Who are you talking about?”

Loki pressed his palm against Stephen’s forehead and projected a stream of emotions, and among all the terror and pain and guilt and humiliation there was an image of a giant figure, standing over someone. A cruel face that looked like it was carved in stone. Purple stone.

Loki fell back, and the connection was lost. The trickster was staring at Stephen with wide eyes. His lips were moving, but Stephen couldn't make out what he was saying. It looked as if it was the same thing over and over again... Stephen leaned closer.

“...fall again. Please don't make... fall again. Please... make me fall... Please don't...”

What... It made no sense. But it was obvious that Loki was in distress, reliving something traumatic, and absolutely horrified. Stephen closed his eyes and tried to find something that would calm Loki down. Warmth? Maybe? He murmured a spell, and a faint golden light started glowing around Loki’s tense body. He didn’t seem to hate it, so Stephen intensified it slightly, and then, following his instincts, expanded it to engulf the both of them. Stephen gently touched Loki’s shoulder.

“Loki? Hey, I got the message, it’s okay. You can rest.”

At first it didn’t seem to get through to him, but after a while Loki stopped mumbling, and then he collapsed. Stephen saw it coming and caught him before he could crash to the floor.

“Thor? A hand, please?”

Thor rushed to his brother’s side and picked him up far too easily.

“Can you get him comfortable, please?”

“Of course. Bed? Or couch?”

Stephen blushed slightly.

“Couch, please.”

Thor gave him a curt nod and carried Loki to the living room. They made sure he was comfortable, and Thor put a blanket over him. It moved Stephen to see Mighty Thor take care of his brother.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

They sat in silence, waiting for Loki to come to. Thor had made tea. Stephen had wrapped both hands around his mug, trying to keep the worry at bay. Loki’s was slowly getting cold on the coffee table. Stephen glanced around the room. He’d never been in Loki’s house, and it felt weird to be here now. As if he was intruding. He felt his gaze being drawn back to Loki’s still body, his pale face and closed eyes. Nothing in this room could possibly be more important than the man lying on the couch. Thor had stood up and was pacing now. It drove Stephen crazy, but he couldn’t really blame the thunderer. And then, finally, Loki stirred and sat up with a string of words Stephen didn’t understand. Thor chuckled.

“Language, brother, we have a guest.”

Loki swung his feet off the couch, swaying slightly.

“Easy”, Stephen said and steadied him, handing him the tea. “Wanna tell me what’s going on here? You found a being you think should be on the Watchlist?”

Loki took a sip of the tea, no comment on its temperature, and stared into the mug afterwards.

“Yes. His name is Thanos. He almost came to Earth during the battle of New York.”

“That was him? The one who… used you to try and get to this dimension?”

“Yes. The very one.”

“Oh my god. How… why… wait did you make a connection to him? Bilaterally? Wouldn’t that draw him here?”

“Don't tie yourself in a knot, wizard. That’s not what I was doing. None of your precious humans will be hurt.”

“You were,” Stephen said after a beat.

“ _Absolutely_ not your responsibility.”

And that hurt. After all the times they had worked side by side to protect Earth. After all the times Stephen had come to Loki's side when New Asgard had needed help - even though he never admitted needing it - even after just being pulled back from something horrible, Loki still didn't consider him an ally. Let alone a friend.

Stephen pulled himself together.

“There's something you kept repeating. I think it was 'Don't make me fall.' Does that ring a bell? Did it have to do with Thanos?”

Loki looked horrified. For a split second. Then it was gone.

“I have no idea what you're talking about, wizard.”

Smooth. Cold. Arrogant. Stephen counted to ten.

“You were scared, Loki. Please talk to me. Anything powerful enough to scare you like that is—"

“I gave you everything you need to know about Thanos. I would appreciate it if I didn't have to go into more details. Discussing him is a somewhat unpleasant experience.”

“So it did have to do with him.”

“You're cruel, wizard,” Loki spat. “You made such a point of 'allowing me to save face', and now that I am weakened you want to enjoy my humiliation after all?”

Stephen stared at Loki.

What on earth...

“You want me to say it,” Loki said, completely composed again, as if he'd just come to a realisation. “You expect me to admit that what you did to me had... an effect on me. Such vein and petty beings you humans are.”

“Loki, please, I don't understand!”

“The first time we met, wizard, you immediately tried to make it clear how powerful you are.”

 _Falling_. Really?

Stephen started to laugh.

“That old trick? I just needed you out of the way so I could talk to your brother. Gauge how much of a threat you actually were.”

Loki narrowed his eyes. His chest was heaving. And then he visibly forced himself back under control. Squared his shoulders. Raised his chin.

“I trust you have all the information you need. You may take your leave, Sorcerer Supreme.”

The contempt in his voice was burning the air in the room. Stephen took a breath.

“Fine.”

And Stephen stood, nodded to Thor and opened a portal. When it closed behind him after he’d stepped out at the Sanctum, he simply stood, staring at nothing, confused and exhausted. What a fool he'd been, hoping for anything but a sneer of superiority from The God of Mischief. The Moor has done his duty, the Moor can go.


	4. Resigned

When Wong knocked on the door of Stephen’s study and said:

“You have a visitor,” Stephen raised an eyebrow.

“Okay?”

Wong stepped back and revealed Loki of New Asgard. Loki closed the door behind himself and leaned against it.

“Isn’t that a little much? Couldn’t you have projected right into my room?”

“That’s impolite and creepy. Besides, I’m not projecting.”

Stephen leaned back in his chair, weighing the book he had been reading in his hand.

“Don’t you dare throw that at me.”

“I would never throw a book. Wong would kill me. Slowly and painfully.”

Loki smiled, soft and open, and damnit that shouldn’t be that pretty.

“May I take a seat, please?”

Stephen put the book down and gestured at his visitor’s chair.

“What’s with the politeness today?”

“I was raised at court. I know how to behave.”

“You just usually choose not to?”

The smile got wider, reaching the trickster’s eyes. And then he cleared his throat.

“I am here to explain my… behavior last time you were in New Asgard.”

“An apology? Are we facing an apocalypse?”

Loki rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be overly dramatic, wizard.”

He took a breath and brushed some nonexistent dirt off his leather pants. Damn those long legs and those tight pants. Why did he always have to wear the tightest possible leathers, and how did he even get into them? And out of them?

“Strange!”

Oh.

“I’m sorry. You were saying?”

“I was _trying_ to explain to you what I had been doing when Thor called you.”

“Oh.” Stephen sat a little straighter. “Please continue.”

Loki sighed dramatically.

“As I was saying,” his inflection making it absolutely clear that he knew very well Stephen hadn’t heard him the first time, “I might have tapped into that list of yours, and when I saw that he wasn’t on it” – avoiding Thanos’ name, interesting – “I decided to warn you. I wasn’t making a connection. I’m not an idiot.”

“Could you?”

Loki paled.

“I… don’t think so. And why would I? It would draw him here.”

Stephen grinned.

“Thought as much. Please go on.”

Another sigh.

“Anyway. Since I was in a heightened state—"

“Which you needed to be in order to break the protection spells sealing off the Watchlist.”

“By the norns. You are enjoying this way too much, wizard.”

Loki let his head fall back.

“You know what, maybe this was a bad idea.”

He stood. Stephen did the same.

“Hey. I’m sorry,” he said gently, walking around his desk and leaning against it. “Please tell me what happened.”

“I… misjudged the level of… vulnerability I had created in that state. I couldn’t… I placed him on your list, but when I had just resealed it, something leapt at me. Nothing magical, don’t worry,” he hurried to add when he saw Stephen’s expression. “It was… purely emotional. A memory I had—”

“Repressed.”

Loki looked at him.

“I think that’s an accurate term, yes.”

“It’s psychology, not mystic arts,” Stephen explained.

“I didn’t just agree to take over Earth, you know.”

The statement hung in the air, its implications glittering like white light being broken by a prism. Stephen swallowed.

“He… made you. Forced you.”

“Yes. It was unpleasant.”

For quite a while neither of them said anything.

“And then _you_ were there, and I was relieved because I knew, on some level, that you would help me, but on the other hand, in the state I was in, I remembered something else. Something _you_ had done to me.”

Stephen was still busy processing the fact that Loki had just admitted to trusting him, in a way, but then he caught up with what else the trickster had said.

“I made you fall.”

Loki was obviously fighting to keep his composure. Why was this such a big deal?

“I can’t do this,” Loki said on a pained exhale, and turned towards the door.

Stephen pushed off his desk and went after him.

“Loki, please. Whatever it is, please talk to me, I’m sorry that spell did more damage than I intended. I thought it was quite harmless, but obviously I was wrong, and I’m sorry. Please don’t just run out on me now.”

Loki turned back to look at Stephen.

“Falling was probably the worst thing you could have done to me. Falling is what I did after my so called father let go of me as I was hanging above an abyss nobody had ever fallen into let alone come out of. Falling is what brought me to the place Thanos dwelled. I fell, Strange. Your thirty minutes were but a meager reflection of the time I spent falling from the Bifrost, but it was enough. Enough to make me… freeze in terror when I saw you.”

‘Please don’t make me fall _again_.’ That’s what Loki had been saying, over and over. A plea not to hurt him, not to put him through that horror again when he was so vulnerable and helpless.

“Oh my god Loki I’m so sorry.”

A hug. He should really be hugging Loki right now, pulling him close, holding him, apologising a million times. But when he stepped closer, opening his arms, Loki straightened. Retreated. Pulled up his defences. Stephen could see the moment he started regretting what he had just said.

“If I ever see you gloat about scaring me, rest assured you are going to regret it, wizard.”

What? Stephen dropped his arms, and goddamn it, it hurt being pushed away like that.

“Why would I… who would I even gloat _to_ , and why? For fuck’s sake Loki!”

That damn raising of the chin. The setting of Loki’s shoulders. Eyes cold.

“I mean it, wizard. Do not attempt to humiliate me. I am twice the sorcerer you are, and you know it.”

People who knew Stephen Strange well called him put-together, level-headed, and above all, patient, and they were right. He’d been patient with all the stunts Loki had pulled because some of them were funny, and some he had just forgiven because Loki was Loki. But everybody has limits, and Loki had just pushed him too far. Stephen Strange lost it. He stared at Loki’s cold eyes, and without raising his voice, he said:

“I fucking can’t with you, Loki! I adore you. I wanted to be _someone_ for you, friend, ally, whatever you’d let me be, but you’re making it fucking impossible! I worried, I wondered, I waited, and I kept crawling back to you no matter how many times you pushed me away, but I fucking cannot keep this up. I give up, okay?”

Loki stared at him, and something died inside him. The one person beside Thor who had always forgiven him, endlessly patient and wise and caring, had reached his limits. Loki had ruined something he had assumed to be indestructible, he’d discarded something he’d thought was impossible to lose.

“You _adore_ me?”

Loki couldn’t remember planning to say that. He couldn’t even remember it registering with him, and it was certainly not the take-away here, or was it?

Stephen’s shoulders slumped, the fight leaving him and he sounded exhausted and worn out when he said:

“Yes. I do. I’ve been trying to tell you that for months. I’ve been trying to let you know, but you’re the worst kind of self-sabotaging idiot. Either that or you simply don’t care. But I just don’t have it in me any longer to try and figure out which one it is. I give up.”

“You adore me.”

“Fuck Loki, stop. Stop twisting the knife. Just… don’t. Don’t.”

And Stephen lifted his hand and opened a portal, and a moment later he was gone, leaving Loki in his study with no indication as to where he had gone.


End file.
